


Someone Like You

by arimi_skywalker



Category: Arashi (Band), Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Canon, M/M, Masturbation, Songfic, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-10
Updated: 2014-02-10
Packaged: 2018-01-11 20:50:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1177778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arimi_skywalker/pseuds/arimi_skywalker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nino took Ohno for granted...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Someone Like You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kon_bl](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=kon_bl).



**Author:** [](http://arimi-skywalker.livejournal.com/profile)[**arimi_skywalker**](http://arimi-skywalker.livejournal.com/) ([sutekihanashi](https://twitter.com/sutekihanashi))  
Disclaimer: fanFICTION (extra emphasis on the fiction). None of this is based in anything even resembling fact except for, like, their names. Do not know, don't presume to know. Not owning. Not meant to offend. Just fangirling.  
A/N: Thanks to my dear [](http://furokugal.livejournal.com/profile)[**furokugal**](http://furokugal.livejournal.com/) for checking and correcting this text for me. I suck at expressing myself in english ^^;;

_If you like this, you're welcome to check out my other fics :)_

 

 

From the very first day we'd met, I knew that Oh-chan was special.  
  
He was calm and relaxed most of the time, lost in his own world. He was funny, cute, and random. He would constantly doze off in the greenroom, yet he could look completely focused and professional at the drop of a hat. I couldn't help admiring him since those very first minutes together in Hawaii, when he had caught my attention right away. Before that, no one had ever held my attention for such a long period of time, and when I say long, I really mean it. Nearly fifteen years is no joke.  
  
We were always playing together, being silly, and just having fun. He would laugh at my witty wise-cracks, and would let me rest my head in his lap when I was playing with my Nintendo DS. It felt good, and I always felt as though I didn't really need to do anything else. We were fine as we were. We got along so well that I was convinced that he only had eyes for me, just as I only had eyes for him. But I was wrong to take him for granted.  
  
I don't know when it had started, but lately he had eyes for someone else.  
  
I often caught him sharing knowing smiles with Sho, or glancing over at him with a sheepish smile on his lips. When I accomplished something in one of my games, and looked up to celebrate with him like I always had done, it wasn't me that he was paying attention to. It was always Sho. And Sho would smile to himself while looking away, trying to pretend as if nothing was going on.  
  
It made me sick. It pissed me off. It irritated me.  
  
When had it started? How could have it happened right in front of my eyes?

 

 

分かりやすくそう簡単に  
Wakari yasuku sou kantan ni  
_(I'll make it easy to understand. Yes, very simple)_

君も僕も分かるぐらい簡単に  
Kimi mo boku mo wakaru gurai kantan ni  
_(Easy enough for you and me to get it)_

伝えてみよう  
Tsutaete miyou  
_(I'll try telling it to you)_

「好きなんだよ」  
"Suki nanda yo"  
_("I like you")_

  
  
  
I had always thought there was a special connection between Oh-chan and me. In my mind, there was a bond that only the two of us knew existed. Something we shared in silence, something that was just ours and no one else's, but now I knew we both viewed things in a different light. Where I saw something more, he saw only friendship. I was his partner in crime when it came to joking around and having fun, and he would play the games I recommended on his cellphone, but that was all. I was a friend to him. Just a good friend.  
  
When I finally understood it, reality struck me so hard that I was moody for several days. It wasn't normal for me to be mad for so long. Generally, I wouldn't care enough about things as to allow myself to be bothered by anything or anyone that wasn't me, but I loved him. I loved Oh-chan so much that it hurt, so I was pissed off at the situation and myself, for allowing it to happen.  
  


 

影を重ねたあの場所のことや  
Kage wo kasaneta ano basho no koto ya  
_(The times at that place where our shadows overlapped)_

同じ時を歩きつないできたことや  
Onaji toki wo aruki tsunaide kita koto ya  
_(Or that walking through the same days connected us together)_

そんな時を全部変えて  
Sonna toki wo zenbu kaete  
_(It'll change all of those times)_

  
  
  
I guess I had been stupid enough to think it might work.  
  
Everything was always easy for me. I almost always got the things I wanted without any effort, naturally. Jun said that I had a natural talent to be able to do everything well, and people were attracted by it, so I guess I thought it would be the same with Oh-chan. In my mind, I didn't have to do or say anything special; he would come to me by himself, naturally attracted by my personality. I guess that's why I thought there was something more than just a good friendship going on between us. But I soon realized that just because we had fun together, didn't necessarily mean that we shared something special.  
  
That's why it frustrated me so much to see all those knowing smiles and looks. Somehow, I felt I had lost to Sho, who had been able to attract Oh-chan enough to secretly hold hands under the table, when they thought no one was looking. Why hadn't I managed to achieve that? What had Sho done better than me? I didn't understand it. I was smart and popular because of my witty remarks and funny jokes; I was the one who always charmed everyone around me. Why hadn't it worked with Oh-chan when he was the only one I really wanted to captivate?  
  


 

歌える様に、届く様に、  
Utaeru you ni, todoku you ni,  
_(So that I'll be able to sing it out, so that it'll make it to you,)_

君を迎えに行けたらな  
Kimi wo mukae ni iketara na  
_(It'd be nice if I could go to meet you)_

  
  
  
I tried my best to ignore my silly feelings, but my heart ached whenever I caught them in a romantic situation. They tried to be careful because they didn't want the rest of us to know, but I knew. Aside from the knowing looks and smiles, and holding hands under the table, they would sneak a kiss in whenever they had a brief private moment, and I was unfortunate enough to be the one running into them every time.  
  
One summer afternoon, when we were shooting the promotional video for our newest single, I decided to take a quick shower before changing into my costume because it was too hot and I had been sweating. Sho and Oh-chan were shooting a scene together, while Jun and Aiba-chan were in make-up and hairstyling, getting ready for a scene we had to shoot together when Sho and Oh-chan had finished theirs. I was in a rush, since I knew I didn't have much time, so I brought the outfit with me to the bathroom and changed into it right after getting out of the shower. I grabbed my clothes, and rushed down the corridor to leave them in the greenroom, but I froze when I opened the door.  
  
Oh-chan was sitting on the couch, and Sho was next him, caressing his face and looking at him as if he were the most fascinating thing on earth. It wasn't my intention to stare at them, but I couldn't help it. Sho slowly leaned in and gently kissed Oh-chan's lips, while Oh-chan placed his hand on Sho's nape and tilted his head to kiss him back. I felt my heart sinking as I watched their lips moving against one another, and wanted to leave right away, but I had to leave my clothes somewhere, so I knew I didn't have any other choice but to go through the awkward moment.  
  
Sho and Oh-chan were so into their own world that they hadn't even heard the door, so I had to close it and open it again, making a louder noise so as to be noticed. They immediately moved away from each other, but even then, I couldn't look at them. I felt embarrassed. Me, who was often called a shameless brat, was embarrassed. I felt my cheeks burning, which made me feel stupid. I wasn't a teenager anymore. It was ridiculous to feel embarrassed about seeing two people kissing.  
  
"Nino", Oh-chan said, surprised to see me there.  
  
I cleared my throat.  
  
"I just came to leave these", I showed the clothes in my hands. "I have to rush to make-up"  
  
"We thought you were already there", Sho said, fixing his clothes.  
  
"I was taking a shower"  
  
I quickly entered the room, wanting to leave as soon as possible, and left my clothes on the first chair I found. I had the excuse of being in a rush, so I don't think they noticed I was feeling awkward being there, with the two of them. Though I think they were feeling pretty awkward themselves, and they weren't really paying attention to me.  
  
"Nino", Oh-chan called me out again, as I walked to the door. "Just now... we..."  
  
I turned and looked at him, as if hadn't seen anything.  
  
"Keep doing your best", I said, motioning to the shooting area.  
  
I saw Oh-chan smiling and nodding before I left, but it was just for a brief moment because I felt the need to walk away from him as quickly as possible. It was too painful. He probably knew that I had seen them, and was thanking me in silence with his smile. His beautiful smile that said so many things without the need for words.  
  
The smile that now belonged to Sho.  
  


 

僕には分かるんだ、君のいる場所が  
Boku ni wa wakarunda, kimi no iru basho ga  
_(I can tell, I know where you are)_

まるで見えてるかのように、隣にいるように  
Marude mieteru ka no you ni, tonari ni iru you ni  
_(Almost as if I could see it, as if you were right beside me)_

だから辛いんだ。分かっているから、どうしても行けないんだ  
Dakara tsurainda. Wakatteiru kara, doushitemo ikenainda  
_(That's why it's hard. Because I know, but no matter what, I can't go to you)_

「まだまだ頑張れ」ってそこから君は笑うから  
"Mada mada ganbare" tte soko kara kimi wa warau kara  
_(When I say, "Keep doing your best", you'll smile at me)_

  
  
  
That night, it wasn't that late when we finished our work, but I was too tired to cook, so I decided to buy something on my way home. I ended up making a brief stop at a small _yakiniku_ restaurant on my street, and taking the food home. The thing is that I don't even like _yakiniku_ , but I still bought enough food for two people, and found myself sitting at home, staring at all the meat in the center of the table, with two plates and two pairs of chopsticks.  
  
It wasn't the first time that it happened. It wasn't the first time I looked this pathetic, waiting for someone who would never come. Although it was the first time I had done it since I knew that Oh-chan and Sho were in a relationship. I thought I could stop. I thought I could stop making and buying meals for me and Oh-chan, and watch as they ended up cold, then throw them away because I never dared to call him. I thought I could get over that stage, when I felt butterflies in my stomach at the thought of calling him to have dinner with me, but it seemed like I couldn't stop doing it just yet.  
  
It didn't make any sense.  
  
It was already stupid back when he was single, but it was even more stupid now that he was dating Sho. I didn't know why I couldn't get over it. For some reason, I still couldn't accept the fact that I had lost him, and refused to believe that he would never be mine, even when I knew I was wasting my money on those meals. I was used to it. I was used to falling asleep alone in my apartment, with a bunch of untouched food in my trash can.  
  


 

君にご飯を作って  
Kimi ni gohan wo tsukutte  
_(I made meals for you)_

君に好きなものを出して  
Kimi ni suki na mono wo dashite  
_(I put out the things that you liked)_

でも減らない  
Demo heranai  
_(Though none of them are eaten in the end)_

それにも慣れたよ  
Sore ni mo nareta yo  
_(But I'm used to that now)_

  
  
  
If only I could go back in time. If only I were given another chance, I would've never allowed this to happen. I knew it was impossible to fix things now because you can't relive the past, but I wanted to so badly. I regretted taking him for granted, thinking I already had him without any effort. I had been so arrogant. Maybe it was all right for other people, but Oh-chan was different. He was too special and unique, and now I had to watch him slipping through my fingers, just because I hadn't tried hard enough.  
  
Now that everything was fucked up, and my heart was broken in pieces, I was able to think of a million ways to make him fall in love with me, but he was already in love with someone else. It was too late, and that's what pissed me off the most. I couldn't win against my own mistakes. It was the most frustrating situation I had ever experienced, and couldn't stop cursing myself for it because I had been the one to put myself there.  
  


 

今度上手く、作ったら  
Kondo umaku, tsukuttara  
_(If I can make it better next time)_

そんな訳ないのに頑張ってみる  
Sonna wake nai no ni ganbatte miru  
_(Though there's no way that will happen, I'll try my best to do it)_

  
  
  
I don't even know how many beers I drank that night. I started with one, like any other night. It was supposed to refresh my throat while I ate the salty _yakiniku_ , but since I never really got around to eating the food, I kept going to the fridge to grab another beer, and another, and another. Until there were none left, and I was completely wasted.  
  
I stood up, and staggered into the living room, where I dropped myself on the couch. The room was dark, since I hadn't turned the lights on, and was lit up only by the weak light of a lamppost that filtered in from the street. My window was open because the summers in Tokyo are too hot, and I was too cheap to turn on the air conditioning. I preferred the fresh evening breezes, even when they weren't as cooling as the air con, but when a sudden gust caressed my face; it felt as if the wind were telling me just how pathetic I was.  
  
"Not fair", I whispered.  
  
I could feel my eyes burning, and tears slowly rolling down my cheeks.  
  
I stayed there, crying in silence, lying on my couch like a lifeless body. The only sign that showed I was still alive were the spasms of my chest, as my breathing had become ragged. And it wasn't fair. When people are in love, they're normally happy, but I was feeling utterly lousy, and wishing I had never fallen for him.  
  


 

君には見えて、僕には見えない  
Kimi ni wa miete, boku ni wa mienai  
_(Something you can see, but I can't)_

酔っぱらった勢いで「ずるい」と呟く  
Yopparatta ikioi de "zurui" to tsubuyaku  
_(I get bold enough when I'm drunk that I murmur, "You're not fair")_

どうかな？　僕はちょっとかわったのかな？  
Dou kana? Boku wa chotto kawatta no kana?  
_(I wonder if that's true. Maybe I've changed a little?)_

"だらしなくなってきた?"  
"Darashinaku natte kita?"  
_("It seems like you've gotten lazier?")_

窓風に乗って聞こえた。相変わらずだな  
Mado kaze ni notte kikoeta. Aikawarazu da na  
_(Carried in through the window on the breeze, I heard you say that. You never change, do you?)_

  
  
  
The only thing I wanted was to feel his lips on mine, his hands caressing my skin, his teeth biting at my neck. Was that asking too much? Was it so wrong that I wanted him in my bed so badly? I felt dirty thinking about his body when I knew he was with Sho, who was also my bandmate and friend, but I couldn't help it. I wanted Oh-chan for so long that it was hard for me to stop thinking about him that way.  
  
I lifted my shirt a little, and slowly caressed my belly. It wasn't fair. I was feeling like shit while Sho was probably having fun with the man I had loved for so long, and feeling the touch of his skin. The skin I had wanted for so long. I unbuttoned my pants as I thought about it, and unzipped them, sliding my hand inside, rubbing over my underwear. I shouldn't be the one doing it. It should be Oh-chan, so I imagined it was his hand sliding inside my underwear, grabbing my aroused member, and moving up and down, in slow but firm movements. I gasped as I closed my eyes and felt him stroking me, sending goosebumps over my entire body, making me shiver and sigh with pleasure.  
  
"Oh-chan", I whispered in between moans. "Oh-chan..."  
  
I stopped for a brief second to shift and pull down my pants and underwear, looking at my own erection. That was the effect Oh-chan had on me. Just thinking about his body, even when clothed, excited me so much that it was painful. Literally. I grabbed myself, and started stroking again, faster this time, thinking about Oh-chan's beautiful fingers wrapped around my length, his thumb playing with the tip, moving at a fierce yet steady pace.  
  


 

優しく笑う君があの時間が空間が  
Yasashiku warau kimi ga ano jikan ga kuukan ga  
_(Those times when you smiled gently at me, that place where we were together)_

泣きたくなるくらい一番大事なものだよ  
Nakitaku naru kurai ichiban daiji na mono da yo  
_(That is the thing that is the most important to me. So important, it makes me want to cry)_

何て言ってた頃は言えなかった  
Nante itteta koro wa ienakatta  
_(The days when I said that to myself, I couldn't tell you)_

どうして言えなかったかな?  
Doushite ienakatta kana?  
_(I wonder why I couldn't say it to you?)_

見上げた先のものより、君は。。。君は。。。  
Miageta saki no mono yori, kimi wa... kimi wa...  
_(Rather than that thing that we look up at in the distance, you are... you are...)_

  
  
  
It didn't take long until I felt all my muscles tensing up, and the waves of pleasure washed over me, sending spasms throughout my entire body as the white liquid spilled over my hand and onto my belly, as I yelled Oh-chan's name. But far from feeling better, I felt even worse than before.  
  
I was lying on my couch, panting, drunk, and covered in my own orgasm.  
  
Thinking about someone else's boyfriend.  
  
I reached out for the box of tissues I always kept on the little table next to my couch, and cleaned up the mess with a sigh. I pulled my underwear and pants back on, and curled up on the sofa, wishing that I had never known Oh-chan.  
  
What was I to do now?  
  
I would never be able to find someone like him.  
  


 

今なら言える  
Ima nara ieru  
_(If it's now, I think I can say it)_

虹より君はキレイだ  
Niji yori kimi wa kirei da  
_(You're more beautiful than a rainbow)_


End file.
